The Taxi Ride Home

 

For the first time in years, I feel like myself

My skin, my hair, my eyes 

I see me, I hear me, and I know what I want 

For the first time in years, I am able to cry 

I am able to see what the world has to offer and why at any point I could die 

For the first time 

Since the day I felt so out of place I feel like a piece of me has been found 

I don’t know where and I don’t know how 

I just know I’m back where I’m supposed to be now

It feels, I feel like life has never felt like this 

So perfect and imperfect all at once 

But it’s still somehow pure bliss 

How I just want to hold my father close and cry into his arms 

For the first time, I feel so safe 

But also so embarrassed cause I know I should’ve been feeling this way 

I listen to my mother’s kind words 

How she felt responsible for my actions 

I listen and try to understand her pain

But some things were just meant to be this way 

The black lining of the seats 

The music on repeat 

I wish I was there with my brother in the next seat 

I sit in the car and listen to the beauty of my parent's voice 

As we laugh I feel like crying 

Because I only know now 

That this will not last forever 

And all I want to do is capture it somehow